What Would You Do?

What would you do if you knew your world would end within a few short weeks?

What would you want to get out of life? What would you want to achieve and leave as your legacy?

These are questions I have had to answer myself recently and try to understand, not always easy to understand either.

Without surgery my life would have been cut short within a few weeks, not just that I would not have been able to achieve half the things I had set out to do in my life.

I already know I haven’t managed to achieve most of them but may have the time now to do so! I can follow my dreams and try and become a milkman!

A fully-fledged milkman! A beautiful dairy produce delivery man, with a flat cap and a crap electric van! Gosh, that would be the life!

OBVIOUSLY, I am not joking! I would love to be a milkman for a day, but not all my life! Saying that I did idolise the milkman as a kid! I was like this dude comes daily with Nesquik and milk! Legendary status!

I guess I saw him as a legend as much as Rory the tiger and trees! Tree’s they needed exploring! I remember thinking as a kid if I climb that tree outside, I would be the talk of the town! I may even get to neverland! Being a kid, the tree seemed a lot bigger than it really was! Probably was only 4ft and I was just 2ft, but to me it was humungous! A huge monolith of a tree to conquer!

Me and Joel would try get to the top of this tree, pretend we were pirates and just being imaginative and playful kids!

Wow I have gone off piste again! I do that a lot now! I remember things from my past vividly and want to get them out into the world.

But what would I do if I was given just a week to live!

How would I budget my time, how would I spend those last days?

I think the simple answer is I don’t know! I have ideas of things I would instantly do, but I think there is a defiance in me that simply will not give in! I will not ever let someone say that’s it Daniel! This is my life, this is my life to lead not some stupid cancer or doctor!

I know this though, I would make it as entertaining and as fun filled as possible! I am a joker at the best of times, I would try make everyone I met smile, laugh and hopefully not cry.

I would love to just explore for my final days, end my days somewhere of beauty, somewhere I can truly appreciate the beauty of the world.

I think that is a major thing for me now, the beauty of the world is fascinating now for me, I am able to find the beauty in almost anything. I have compassion that I never expected to have for others and I am able to help people effortlessly now, it is not a chore to be nice.

Does that make sense? I used to be an actual arse hole! I mean the nastiest of nasties! I would step over you to get to where I wanted to be! I now realise that life was meaningless, that made people hate me, despise me, resent me, leave me and most of all not trust me!

The change in my lifestyle has been huge, I would love nothing more than to now go educate, teach and inspire people all over the world to smile, laugh and be themselves. There is nothing more satisfying than accepting your flaws and being yourself!

That second that the chain gets broken and the cord gets cut to all the downers in your life you feel free!

I know I feel free even though I am going through the most difficult time of my life.

About PeeWeeToms

So what's the story? Well in 2015 I was diagnosed with a Sarcomatoid Carcinoma. To say the least it was aweful, I have managed to get through three years now with it coming back with vengance 4 times. On the 29th December 2017 I found it had likely spread. This is my dialogue with myself.

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10 Comments on “What Would You Do?”

  1. Oh Dan – please someone out there with loads of money and a magic wand help this man.Dan is it possible to get some radio/tv exposure ?? Just thinking out loud X

  2. Dan. You must not worry about people getting upset. It is an emotion people need to show as much as happiness. Life is unfair and shit but you are making a real difference. Keep going. Someone with power will notice this soon and things will change. The impact you are having is growing much faster than your cancer ever will.
    Sorry if that came out wrong but hopefully you get me.

    1. Well said Prudence , Dan needs someone to come forward an offer to help him , this cancer is so rare , he needs more support and a stronger army behind him ..Dan you are a loveable person with a good heart and compassion , see if you can get someone with influence behind you on this please ..I see so many people suffering but so many of us are drawn to you , I do believe you can beat this but you need help ..Breaks my heart to think of what Claire and your family are going thru ..and of course the hurt and worry its causing you ..Get someone to help you fight this war XX

  3. In reply to what would I do? I am older so would get rid of all the worthless possessions i have accumulated over the years. Make sure I burnt all my old diaries etc!. Most of all it would be about telling the people closest to me how much they mean. How they have made a difference in my life. You have years left though Dan. I know so many people told they were terminal and are still here years later. Where there’s life there’s hope. The years you have ahead will mean so much more than the ones you have already had.

  4. I don’t know how this will sound but I wish I hadn’t read this particular blog because of what you said about yourself, “I used to be an actual arse hole! …. trust me!”.
    In my entire life, I was always victim of people stepping over me and it hurts a lot. But anyway, this is about you, and I don’t think for a second that your current health crisis has anything to do with that.
    Stay strong Dan. Miracles do happen and I am sending you loads of positive vibes and love.

  5. I’m in remission do to breast cancer and a very rare hereditary cancer disease called Von Hippel Lindau
    Everything you said is so so true. Cancer gives us a different and better perspective in life. With myself its important to be the best person possible and kindness to others and praying for others makes me feel free & good. I’ve learned our entry to heaven is not free without bearing our cross.
    I Pray for you as I do for others.
    God Bless You Always
    Most Sincerely Janice

  6. I don’t know how this will sound but I wish I hadn’t read this particular blog because of what you said about yourself, “I used to be an actual a*** h*** ! …. trust me!”.
    In my entire life, I was always the victim of people stepping over me and it hurts a lot. But anyway, this is about you, and I don’t think for a second that your current health crisis has anything to do with that.
    Stay strong Dan. Miracles do happen and I am sending you loads of positive vibes and love.

  7. Inspiring thoughts – seeing beauty, being compassionate. That has taught me I don’t have to go somewhere or be something else to do something meaningful and important here and now. Thank you for that Dan.

  8. “In the end it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.” (Abraham Lincoln) Thank you for demonstrating that it is possible to do great things even in the darkest of situations. You’re an inspiration, and you’re making a difference. Try to remember that in times of despair. Praying daily for you.

  9. Daniel, you have changed yourself and you gave changed the world of many. Through this damn disease you found all the goodness inside of you and have helped many by your website and blog. If and when you face your last days, find that beautiful place that puts you close to nature. Be with those you love and celebrate all the good times you have had. Forgive those who have wronged you and pray for those you gave wronged. And when you step through the veil that separates heaven and earth, promise to meet the rest of us whose lives were changed for the good for finding you.

    Love and prays from America,
    Laura

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