Hotels, hospitals and rarely home! That is what my life has now become to stay alive! This isn’t some kind of crazy rock star life this is fighting for survival as much as survival can be taken.

Luckily I have made friends with some great hotels who accommodate me for free sometimes and help out where they can, but I do also like to throw a special night in a new hotel from time to time! I spend at least two days away from home a week now in London and it is taking its toll on me mentally and physically as I thrive on life by the seaside and miss those sunny days by the sea!

I am extremely lucky to have the connections, friends and support of so many people that are willing to help me to get where I need to be, do what I need to do and show that life is about supporting and loving each other, sharing experiences and just having overwhelming togetherness!

Take last week at the Assembly Hotel for instance that moment on the roof with my mates, family and Becky was magical. It was a real eye opening moment of wow the world still has beauty even in a crazy built up area like London’s Leicester Square.

I used to spend most my time being a recluse because of my cancer, but now I love educating people on it, they struggle, the diverse changes that happen day to day. In my case, I have a rare and evil cancer that can’t be controlled but by golly gosh I am trying to slow this mo-fo down!

Let’s change the cheetah of cancers to the snail of cancers, then instead of the snail winning the race just keep moving the finishing line every so often!

If I can push this now to get more time, to get more days with the ones I truly love then I am going to push for that with my whole heart!

Time is precious, people are precious and we bump into so many every day it’s impossible to know them all but everyone is worth love, worth your time.

Saying that I have met some horrors in my life, but they can be forgiven, they didn’t realise they where douche bags! Most douche bags don’t realise they are that till they have a life changing experience like me.

I love life though, travel, new experiences and I honest find it hard now but wouldn’t change the way I fight now! I feel it brings me power and resilience to fight another day, knowing I have the support of some of the world’s best doctors!

This has not been a cheap or easy journey! Money spent on sequencing, travel and being able to get samples to other people has been a hard ass task but may help so many in the future!

I truly believe that fighting comes from within and there’s a tougher inner battle happening at the moment than the physical one.

On that not I am going to leave you with a quote from today’s video – “some people chose to get their thrills from parachuting, paragliding or going on jet skis; whatever. At the moment I get my buzz from living; waking up each morning and smiling and being happy.”

About PeeWeeToms

So what's the story? Well in 2015 I was diagnosed with a Sarcomatoid Carcinoma. To say the least it was aweful, I have managed to get through three years now with it coming back with vengance 4 times. On the 29th December 2017 I found it had likely spread. This is my dialogue with myself.

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