This cancer malarkey is certainly taking its toll on me and my body. Today my pain level is taking the piss! Like really taking the micky! Not that black and white mouse fella that soften associated with Disney.
Ha ha reminds me of a joke actually, not for now though at all.
Now, why is this a BallAche! Well there are some things in life that really become arduous tasks and very hard tasks to do when you are sick and one of them now for me is living! It is incredibly hard to continue to do that simple thing called living!
My breathing is messed up, I can’t stop being sick from the meds and pain and I am just really struggling with the whole lot, in a rather large way.
No one ever said to me that this cancer, this rare and evil type would attack me in this way and it is really working with military precision! This cancer is like some dictator trying to take over my body! I won’t mention who I would compare it to, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work it out!
Now, blindly believe in doctors hasn’t helped me and one of the first things I had actually read and researched on this uber rare type of cancer is that it can also be very painful and a horrific death, I am now showing signs of getting to that phase with this cancer!
If you know of me or how I work, I am not about to let this knob head cancer take over me like that and not let it win! So, everything I can do and everything that is my power I am going to do!
The reality of this is all setting in far too much now though with loss of function and normal day-to-day tasks becoming hard work, I can’t get out the house easily and I am struggling to speak as it makes me feel sick! This level of sickness and nausea is something I have never experienced, and I have experienced a lot.
To try explain it I will try paint a picture in your head!
Imagine that someone has force fed you to much milk and you have that milk bloated belly and sickness, then with that someone is constantly kicking you in your side and cutting into your skin. Its excruciating and utterly painful and to top it off it feels like some clown is tickling my insides with its grubby mits, but only in my abdomen!
Yeah, its not fun to be me today, it’s really not! I have done a vlog today about it! I will post it tonight!
6 Comments on “Golly Gosh! This Is A BallAche!”
Well that clearly sucks. I hate cancer.
I am soooooooo sorry you have to go through this. Just wondering, but don’t you think the morphine or fentanyl or something might be an idea now if your level of pain is that much out of control? At least reconsider… And if there is any way at all you could get some pot… doesn’t sound that easy over there unfortunately. It has to be freaking your loved ones out seeing you in this much pain as, obviously, it does you. But mostly you should be thinking of how you’re feeling at the moment… So many people across the world care, yet each one of us is helpless here… helpless to relieve your suffering.
However, I for one am glad you are continuing to share this all! I read and watch your vlogs everyday. I look forward to it, and hope you will be able to continue for a long, long time.
I am thinking of you, definitely, and care as much as someone can!
You are a trooper for continuing your blog and vlog.
Many of us look forward to seeing you daily as for myself I feel like you are a long lost close friend that is going through a terrible time that I want to help…..since I’m way across the pond in Canada all I can do is write to you with my support.
Keep on being strong as you can be….as you’ve said “don’t give up”. Many people are rooting for you to feel better.
Sending you a huge Canadian hug. …
I think you are helping people understand how horrible cancer really is and I truly believe we need to support and find a cure for this BEAST! Sending you lots of love today and healing hugs. Hey just from another Canadian friend on the East Coast ROCK!
So very very sorry that this is SO HORRIFICALLY PAINFUL! PRAYING for your RELIEF,praying for you to be blessed with PEACE. sending love and hugs XO a girl in Stone Mountain Georgia
Well that genuinely sucks. Hope you can get this whole thing sorted and on to more fun things in life. Thank you for keeping us in the know even on the not so groovy days like today.