I know what you are thinking, still no answers and yeah! I am still in limbo. My mother has found the whole debacle rather entertaining though as the whole day has gone utterly wrong from them thinking I had a limp to being fobbed off in the end.
I would like to state from the get go now, I am going to have extensive surgery below my left arm pit and by my left breast which one will be super uncomfortable and two pretty unsightly when I strip off! That is not something I like the idea of as I have enough scars as it is!
Now to elaborate on what happened today, the oncologist said a month and a half ago that he didn’t hold much hope of it staying away and me being clear and that a recurrence was just a matter of time. Which is something that I knew well enough already as I had been told by numerous doctors and nurses.
But, today he decided that he would back track on all that information and try put my mind at easy by playing it down and saying that’s not a spot it would go to if it was to spread. THAT IS UTTER CODSWALLOP! Why? Because we have been told over 50 times by specialists that the most likely place for it to recur is below my armpit! Go figure!
Now, why would they be like that, well it’s simple I am a liability when stressed! I do stupid stuff and make a fool of myself. I think it is pretty clear that with this NHS crisis that’s going on them taking out something that’s thought not to be cancerous would take months not a week so yeah, again go figure!
The small things make a big difference in this as well as they have clearly told me to keep an eye on other lumps and monitor them as they aren’t sure what they are!
I am not saying that my lumps and bumps are not something else but all the evidence, the pain, the sickness and underlying issues suggest it can only really be cancer, but I still hold hope that it is nothing.
Medically growths don’t tend to appear and grow that quickly unless they are aggressive tumours, so it’s a bit of a confusing time. I have to just wait it out over the next few weeks and get the surgery out of the way and ponder life some more.
I know this is going to play on my mind a hell of a lot over the coming weeks!
