I rarely talk about my friends and relationships I have with people. What is crazy is that I very private in real life, like day to day life I am really private. There are something’s I don’t even tell my parents.

Now that I am facing the end of my life it is getting a whole lot harder to forge new friendships because I feel like it is unfair on those I get close to and god forbid I got into a relationship! That would be a whole other kettle of fish!

Why am I writing about this, well I just wanted to explain that no matter where your friends are in the world it’s good to make time for the ones you love, nothing brings me more joy than knowing Mondays coming now. Me and my mates recently have got into this pattern of tearing up London, enjoying the good things in life and just being there for each other!

There seems to be like a new world wonderment to what we are doing that we have all come from very normal backgrounds, known each other for years but only recently reconnected.

I spent all my childhood Christmases and new years in London, I used to stay at my nan’s and we would eagerly await Christmas day. I remember well that me and Matt had a room at my nan’s and would watch the tv really quietly hoping that no one would know. Now I am older I realise that and adult has the sense to know the tv is on by the flicker under the door! Saying that we always would do it, watch a movie we weren’t supposed to or were told not to!

Anyway back to London, I love London; there is so much to do. There is something available on each street corner and when with friends it doesn’t matter if you’re just walking down the side of the Thames or in a restaurant eating food it’s about the laughter and fun you have!

For me building up moments, and snapshots in my head is a great way for me to remember why I want to live, why I want to stay on this sometimes dark and twisted world!

I am a firm believer that a few great moments can make a memory for life, something’s in life can be really forgettable, what I want now is the unforgettable moment.

The major problem is now, how to split my time between living life, friends, family and the rest but I am sure I will find a good balance soon enough.

One of my best friends is my brother, we are close as hell, make sure we keep each other updated with everything that’s going on but my bro is always on tour with his band, or in Torquay where he lives now. No matter what though I know he is there!

I think I have gone off piste now, but what I am trying to say as I always do is enjoy every day, do as much as you can and cherish those moment, especially the really special ones that may never happen again! Smile daily! Laugh often and love everyone.

About PeeWeeToms

So what's the story? Well in 2015 I was diagnosed with a Sarcomatoid Carcinoma. To say the least it was aweful, I have managed to get through three years now with it coming back with vengance 4 times. On the 29th December 2017 I found it had likely spread. This is my dialogue with myself.

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