“I don’t need a metaphor for you to know I am miserable” – PRVIS
Exactly I don’t need a metaphor for people to know I am miserable. I am not a happy bunny at the moment, my family and loved ones all know that I am different person.
Somethings I do now are very good, equally I am increasingly stressed, angry and agitated. People keep telling me to take medication to calm me down, but I am wanting to understand the behaviour more!
Why would I want to dull my personality in anyway? The emotions that I am feeling are always going to be hard and conflicted.
The heart means well but the brain doesn’t always kick into gear properly! Certainly, doesn’t always kick into gear!
Family especially find this all hard to deal with and understand as they are like I am a completely different person to other people, and that is because I am. Not due to personality but people I haven’t met, haven’t seen in years, months, those people aren’t constantly hounding me for information. They aren’t always trying to protect me, try make decisions for me.
I agree that help is always needed in these situations, I understand that perceive things differently, perceptions as well change over time.
I am by no means a creature of habit! I am so distracted by everything, I look at the world some days and just stare at the scenery. You may think why do that? But my world has changed and to the people who knew me before I am still that person from before.
I assure everyone, that I am a million miles from who I was, I took a trip to another world and came back new! (Metaphor, I’m not crazy!)
I just wish I could still express all my feelings to the ones close to me without clashing, I put this down to me not having any space from people, from the cancer an being me.
I don’t think my vlog has really been a very good reflection of who I really am as the snapshots are of me scared, worried and hurting. I am always positive and work hard daily to keep positive despite everything, but I have that attitude that is all about what’s next! What am I going to achieve next! What bridge are we going to build and what are we going to do on the other side!
I assure you, I not a nasty person, I am compassionate, I have morals, I have manners, but with family, with all that is going on I have no patience.
I am just one of those people who get infuriated by everything that is going on, drives me mad 90% of the time and I have to just go to sleep! I am running in circles with people’s feelings and it hurts me watching others hurting!
That age old saying, cut your nose off to spite your face! You hurt the ones you love because you don’t expect them to leave and you feel comfortable to let rip and sound off!
Pushing people away is easier than dealing with the trauma a lot of the time! Much easier, but my best advice would be keep people close you need them! Don’t accept foolishness but be mindful that the past is the past! If you keep looking at the past and not the future, you will get nowhere!
I know if I still lived in the past I would be one of the unhappiest people in the world! But I am not, I am happy, I am able to stay positive in these situations and press on!
Obviously, there are things that upset me, but press on. Don’t be down for long is what I say!
Ohhh and I am out of the hospital now having some down time!