Yesterday was father’s day and I slept through most of it. Luckily I did get to go for brunch with my family in the morning and enjoy some time with my dad.
The funny thing is, it took years for me to realise just who my dad was! Not because he wasn’t about when I was a kid I just didn’t know him as I do now.
When you grow up and you’re a small child your dad is someone that you look upto and aspire to be like. My dad was crazy! Like off his rocker, hyperactive, silly, funny, always joking about and having fun with his friends and people he loved.
He happened to start off as a musician, magician and entertainer in his early days. I always remember my dad playing the guitar, attempting to do make things disappear.
My dad is an amazing human being, so kind, generous and willing to be there in any situation even if he does moan a little! But that’s all down to grumpy old man syndrome!
I realise that some people in the world grow up without a mother and father, I can’t even imagine how that would feel as mine have always been there, even when I have been the worst son in the world.
One thing I do know though is all the single mommas and papas that are doing it for themselves should be super duper proud of what they do, I can barely look after a puppy let alone a child.
Now that I am on chemo and I am getting sicker the likelyhood of me ever having children of my own is slim to none, I won’t ever be a father, but I at least know what a good dad looks like and have a wealth of awesome memories to look back on a learn from.
One of my fondest memories of my dad is actually really recent, when we went to paris the first time a few years ago and my dad saw main street in the Disney Park, there was a sense of boyhood wonder in his eyes and immediately he grabbed the camera and was snapping away. Watching the 1940’s cars go by and going on search of Goofy, Goofy is my dad’s favorite character in Disney.
My dad was the one with the idea of starting a vlog for them to share how they feel about having a son with terminal cancer, because they have to go through an awful lot as well as parents. It’s sometimes a losing battle, tears and worry. I honestly don’t know how they deal with the worry as I am pretty isolated and shut off from my emotions to do with it all.
My parents channel is here and they will be posting a video this week. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv7Bj7ST6yAZQ_BFsPndYNA