This lack of sleep is actually getting rather annoying, I couldn’t sleep last night at all but there is so much on my mind. It doesn’t help I am planning where to run away to as soon as I leave hospital!

I keep thinking where can I go that I will get an amazing picture and then enjoy the scenery? I have had loads of ideas and my window of opportunity is slim so need to make the most of it!

So, I am sat here watching Free Willy and I genuinely want to go whale watching now, send off the drone and see some of them beauties! I also want to go shark diving but not a good idea with an open wound!

It would be like Finding Nemo and Bruce chasing me! “My Name Is Bruce!”, crazy thing is I think I would still do it if offered even in my state now! I would just have to risk it!

No risk no reward as people say! I know that putting my life out there for people to see is incredibly risky, but the reward to me is that people love what I am doing!

I can’t wait to go sit by the sea, I can’t wait to have a glass of red again, I can’t wait to have a bit of normality back in my life.

Cancer for the best part is destructive, but if anything, staying in this hospital with the amazing people I have stayed with, it truly has inspired me more!

Everywhere I go now people ask me questions, wonder how I manage to stay looking ok, how I smile and how I want to always make others smile. It isn’t easy, but I am hellbent on being there for people, no matter what walk of life, who they are.

Everyone has a story to tell, everyone can inspire, everyone can smile.

I have even moved from an isolated room to be around other people, I am realising more and more that talking for me helps.

Talking to people and trying to understand their fears helps me understand mine a little more. I am sure that is what people get from my blog and vlog as well!

So, where am I going to run away to? Well that is a secret but feel free to make some suggestions of awesome places to visit as I would love to go on a bit of a tour at some point.


What am I going to risk to get a reward? I am litterally risking my life to get the greatest reward possible a longer life!

But what am I willing to risk for the greater good? Everything! I want to go back to the risk taking me, the one who jumped on trains to anywhere, planes to anywhere, jumped off buildings, tried to flip cars, sped in speedboats, travelled, learned and educated.

I miss taking risks, I miss being that person who was fun and willing to try anything!

About PeeWeeToms

So what's the story? Well in 2015 I was diagnosed with a Sarcomatoid Carcinoma. To say the least it was aweful, I have managed to get through three years now with it coming back with vengance 4 times. On the 29th December 2017 I found it had likely spread. This is my dialogue with myself.

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One Comment on “No Risk No Reward – I Miss Taking Risks”

  1. Tenerife Dan they do an amazing whale and Dolphin pirate boat trip price includes drinks and food , then you get to jump off the top of the boat into the refreshing sea. Also get yourself to Majorca its a stunning Island , they do a pirate show for adults its fantastic and of course the water park is brilliant with all the rides and slides. There are some beautiful private beaches in Majorca so get your kit off and jump into the sea ..X

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