Fearless, fear-less, fear less! FEAR LESS!
Exactly that what the hell is there to be worried about? If you know what could happen, why would you worry about it? Why would you even burden your soul with that worry?
I am not utterly fearless yet, but I am working hard on it! I am really trying not to succumb to this horrid disease and be just another statistic.
I have spent the last month researching, connecting with world leaders in cancer treatment and finding out how I could survive this!
I am not like any other cancer patient, I am truly trying to use positivity, laughter, smiles and a warm heart to try beat this. I know that sounds like I have a tin full of wishes that will never come true. But, because I laugh, smile and try my best I have nothing to regret.
I try and tackle every situation with dignity, I take the rough with the smooth, I am probably my own worst critic!
I love vlogging, I just wish I could do it the way I always wanted to, but I got sick very fast, and went down hill within a few weeks!
The rapid decline was not expected by anyone at all, least of all me, I am in shock still with how fast this has happened.
What I am trying to say is that, life for me has changed drastically, and I have still got a life. I still have breath in my lungs and I still have my cognitive functions. I am also by no means a foolish man, I realise I must work this out for myself and force progress. With that though, there are many people who could be helped along the way.
My cancer cannot be treated like everyone else’s, it’s far to rapid and aggressive to respond to conventional treatment. I have limited options, I have extremely limited options.
The reason, I am always smiling, and I guess “look good” is because I am not going to let this control me! I am not going to let it take over my life fully! My family, friends and loved ones all complain as I spend all my time trying to figure it out, make contact with people or try and educate others but that is what I want to do!
The majority of the human race don’t even know how many subtypes of cancer there are, how they work or affect people! The common consensus is that you must be bald to have cancer. But here I am looking normal as fuck and going through the hardest time of my life! Fighting the worst cancer, fighting for my life!
I started all this to try find others like me, to try find answers and help find a way to treat this. I since found out that no research had been done into this type of cancer, not more than surgical intervention.
So, I started trying to get some funds together to get some real research done into this, some targeted treatment. Bare in mind that no one knows what to do with me now, how to treat me and we are literally stabbing in the dark! I am putting my life on the line with the hope that we find something that can help others in the future.
Obviously, there will always be cynical people who do not understand the idea of survival, and there are people I know who have said to me face to face, why would you want to continue to live in pain! Because as I have said as long as I have my brain and a smile I am all good! I am happy to make jokes, laugh at myself and take the piss out of me!
I have been going through this for years now, I am at my wits end with trying to figure it out, the likelihood is that I will not work it out, but I am going to give it a hell of a good try!
All cancers are different and work very differently, I am not going to succumb to this any time soon, I am also not going to let anyone drag me down because well, what is there to be down about? I am used to my situation and well-adjusted to it.
Smart people don’t give up because they are forced to, they push on harder than ever before to prove a point!
That is exactly what I am going to do now! Prove a point!