So, cancer and me have a really long history now, I am also getting slightly sicker by the day which sucks a lot! I mean a hell of a lot!
I was doing a vlog today and I found that I had another lump in my side which is the last thing I wanted! Like honestly that was the last thing I wanted!
I have a scan tomorrow to ultimately determine what seems my fate! How can a scan determine my fate! I hate that idea! It makes me angry actually! Anyways below is a video of me finding this new lump 🙁
Now I had prior to this been mega positive, pushing forward with everything full force, but I just have that overwhelming fear of everything now.
Being positive is hard when your in pain most the time, the pain is extreme sometimes as well. I have no idea what the hell is going on in my body now and drives me mad! Actually mad!
I did a video with my dad the other day and he said I was mad anyway! So, maybe I am a little mad :/
This is what my dad and brother had to day about me 🙂
A week ago now we had to see the doctors and find out what was happening and they basically told me, I may not be able to have surgery as it may not help now. If it has spread to much then I can’t really do much about it. Which fucking sucks so much! It’s like the worst feeling when someone says that to you!
I just hope I can find an answer to this riddle soon, or know whats going to happen, the wait is agonising!
I asked my mom how she felt and its in the video below.
I have recieved a lot of hate off people in the mean time, evil trolls and arseholes! But I promise from now on I will try update everyone more in my Blog. Head over to my vlog if you want to see my daily vlogs 🙂