Song Of The Moment: Gun – Chvrches
Today has been a weird day! I woke up feeling like death, I have been unwell since Christmas Eve, I even left most my Christmas Dinner and left out dessert! What the hell is wrong!
By the title you may have guessed what but still, I found a lump in my left side. I am mega pissed about this mainly because it’s not something that I want or ever expected just after Christmas.
I don’t want to cry as that would give this sick disease the pleasure that is so eagerly wants! But limbo much again! I hate being stuck in limbo! I hate it with all my being!
I put on a brave face for everyone and pretend that I am ok and fine with it all when inside I am just stabbing myself in the brain with a needle to see if I am still alive!
Why me is the constant question in my head, why me! Why do I have to keep going through this, and I know there are people with it worse and I know that people die rapidly from what I have but I am in limbo with very few options on how to treat it and how to get better!
I get a cold I get scared, I sneeze I get scared, a sore throat and I feel like I have throat cancer! I hate it all. From my inner being I can’t express how much I hate the way it feels.
So, I have this lump, I also think I have some more but scared to show them off to people. They call the lumps craggly, or whatever it is, and they seem to be latched onto my muscle as well.
I keep getting sick and show signs of infection, but my blood doesn’t say I have, so must have flu at the moment.
Well I had a nice Christmas, but a shit end to the year!